Writing About Human Interest Without the Humanity
Fake news has persistently annoyed or frustrated me, but when it hits too close to home, I’m especially irked by journalists who fail to do their homework and who fail to understand why we are #BorderlineStrong.
Initial newscasts during the shooting at Borderline were bad enough, with cameras showing the freeway side of the building and talking about people on the patio. Those of us who frequent the club know the back side is nothing more than a small brush- and tree-covered hillside adjacent to a freeway on ramp. Though there were many other discrepancies, for some reason, that’s the only one my brain locked into, perhaps because when the club is open, it’s where I sit when I’m not dancing.
Borderline is More Than a Building
Since then, numerous stories and videos have followed, but the part which bothers me most 
is their failure to capture the true nature of our Borderline Family. Most completely miss what we mean when we say “Borderline is more than just a building”. It’s not a feeling easily put into words, except by continuing to reiterate we’re #BorderlineStrong. You have to experience the connection which bridges all the generations who are part of this family in order to understand why we have found ways and places to gather; to lend our support to Brian Hynes, the owner while he deals with all the issues and details, as well as his own emotional trauma following such a horrific tragedy.
As I read each piece or watch each video, my frustration over being unable to tell the story from the inside increases. That frustration makes me realize how many other stories are told by outsiders who speak to a few people and think they have the whole story.
Getting the Story Out Fast Overshadows the Truth and the People
We have seen so much tragedy on our TV and computer screens in the last few years. We’ve read stories which break our hearts. Yet in truth, like the history we read in school, we’re only getting one side of the story, and in fact, one which can’t be told in a few hundred words, or a few sound bites.
I have to curb my frustration at my lack of connection with any of the major publications. Even if I were to write and publish a piece about the love, connection, and resilience of our huge, extended family, I couldn’t capture it so an outsider would truly feel the importance of reaching out to each other as much as possible while we lack a permanent place to gather and connect.
Keeping the Family Together Despite the Challenges
Recently, over 1,000 of us gathered at the Canyon Club in Agoura, turning it into a temporary Borderline complete with some of the original DJ’s and instructors, as well as so many who have kept our feet moving and smiles on our faces through the years. Kelsey, who was in the DJ booth the night of the shooting received a huge ovation when it was her turn to play the tunes. It was a night filled with hugs, tears, laughter, joy, and of course, dancing. We made the best of a floor that was both sticky and insufficient for the number of people wanting to get up and move. Some of us danced on the carpet and even between tables where we couldn’t keep our feet still.
Family is More Than A Genetic Accident
Shirts, stickers, and more were sold to help raise money for the Borderline staff who are out of work indefinitely. People also brought stickers and bracelets to give away as we demonstrated by our actions we are #BorderlineStrong and won’t allow fear to keep us away from our family. Even more, we take care of our own.
Whether it’s a place to dance, a shoulder to cry on, moral support, or anything else members of our family might need, we are there for each other, no questions asked. The already blurry lines between the generations have blurred even further, and many have faded into nothingness. Age doesn’t matter. Social standing is irrelevant. The single most important factor is we are united, not by blood, not by a building, but by a love which transcends it all; a love for dancing, for country music, and for the people who share our passion.
Blind to Society’s Version of Different
Most of all, this family is inclusive. It doesn’t matter whether you’ve been a part of it for months, 
years, or decades. We are oblivious to race, religion, gender identification, body type, and all of the things people elsewhere are judged on these days. The only criteria is you treat everyone with respect. That doesn’t mean one or another of us doesn’t ruffle a few feathers now and then. We’re human, after all. But at the end of the day, we stand up for our own, each and every one of them; friend, acquaintance, or frenemy.
I’ve learned one of the most important things for us right now is sharing the energy of the younger members of our family, many of whom were there on November 7th; who lost someone they knew and loved, and who will bear the scars for the rest of their lives. Still, they plan gatherings, love and accept everyone, old and young, and voice their concern for some of the older crowd who have yet to come to one of the events sponsored or organized by the Family.
Facebook has become our point of contact, though many aren’t there. We’re creating group messages in Messenger, but also via text to reach those who avoid the social media scene.
A Family Thriving on Compassion
Most important, we hold each other close in our hearts, our arms, our minds. We are all one in spirit, so hurting a single member hurts us all, and brings the Mama Bear out in many; old, young, male, and female. We are a force to be reckoned with, yet we’re the ultimate in compassion.
While many write cruel and horrific things to the shooter’s mother, we extend our compassion to her as well. She, too lost a child that night and to us, that’s what matters. We don’t hold her responsible for her son’s actions, any more than we do the CHP officer whose bullet tragically killed his fellow officer through no fault of his own. Many of us signed a giant, poster board card recently to show him our love and support for doing his best to protect us.
Social Media, Blog Posts, Whatever it Takes to Stay Connected
As frustrated and unconnected as I may be to any major news stream, I know it’s important to keep sharing the love, connection, and compassion which lives in this family without borders; the Borderline Family.
To Brian Hynes who has ensured we had a place to gather for over a decade, and who continues to work hard to find places for us to gather, I can only say Thank You, though it’s hardly enough. Putting into words how much it means to have such an amazing community which may have started in a building; a bar, but extends beyond walls, beyond borders is nearly impossible, even for me. Family members live across the country now, and probably in other countries as well.
Like anything else, it takes a village. There are so many unsung heroes who are giving huge amounts of time and energy to ensure we remain #BorderlineStrong. Some may wonder why I get so angry when a blanket derogatory remark is aimed at Millennials. It’s because I don’t appreciate them lumping everyone into a box, much less those Millenials who are not only part of this family, but form the backbone of it in so many cases.
I won’t enjoy the reach of a major publication with this post, but I hope my Borderline Family knows how much I appreciate them. They make my world go around.
About the Author
Sheri Conaway is a writer, blogger, ghostwriter, and advocate for cats. Sheri believes in the Laws of Attraction, 
but only if you are a participant rather than just an observer. Her mission is to Make Vulnerable Beautiful and help entrepreneurs touch the souls of their readers and clients so they can increase their impact and their income. If you’d like to have her write for you, please visit her Hire Me page for more information. You can also find her on Facebook Sheri Levenstein-Conaway Author. And check out her new group, Putting Your Whole Heart Forward.
Be sure to watch this space for news of the upcoming release of “Life Torn Asunder: Rebuilding After Suicide”.
