Learning to Ask for Help With Our Writing
Being a writer is more than sitting at a keyboard pounding out words, or drinking coffee in a cafe while scribbling madly into a notebook—assuming you’re like me and would like to see those words published somewhere besides your personal blog and sites like Medium. Besides, we have to come up for air sometime, right?
It took me 5 years to finally get up the nerve to attend my first writer’s conference, and I think I chose well with the Southern California Writers’ Conference (SCWC for short) a year ago February. I came out of my self-imposed shell a bit, met some amazing people, gained some valuable insight, and the resources to more confidently embark on the next leg of my journey.
Better Avenues for Finding Help
I didn’t have to fish in the dark when I needed an editor. I had people who could recommend 
those whose work they knew personally. When I’m ready to publish, I have several options neatly laid out for my perusal. But best of all is the support I get in Facebook groups I’d never have found without the conference.
Between the groups and the recommendations (including the first of what I hope will be many clients) I learned about a free festival going on in San Diego on April 13th. The San Diego Writers Festival is being held at the Central Library and offers a full day of panels, speakers, book signings and more. For an aspiring author like me, it’s another opportunity to meet with published authors, publishers, agents, editors and more to help me on my own journey to becoming a published author.
It’s an especially great opportunity for me as one of the organizers is the San Diego Memoir Writer’s Association. Though memoir has become a popular genre these days, it comes with its own unique set of rules and guidelines. I’ve struggled to find guidance though I gained a tremendous amount of insight from Judy Reeves at the conference I attended. It seems from what I’ve seen that a lot of the assistance and guidance I need will require trips to visit my daughter. San Diego is home to an amazing array of writers, speakers, editors, publishers, and more.
The People We Need Are at Our Fingertips
Which leads to how I found out about the Festival in the first place. I posted a request for recommendations in several of the writers’ groups I’m in on Facebook. After finding 3 I wanted to learn more about, and who came with recommendations specifically for memoir, I spoke to 2, ultimately selecting Marni Freedman for a number of reasons.
First and foremost, I felt a strong connection which, given my subject matter is a key factor in selecting an editor. My personal “know, like, trust” factor must, by necessity, be quite high. Second, Marni is well-versed in the genre of memoir, and in fact, founded the San Diego Memoir Writer’s Association. Third, she has a strong connection to mental health issues, and shares my passion for clearing misconceptions and opening the door for people to seek help without fear of ostracism or shame.
San Diego Writers Festival
Marni is also where I learned about the San Diego Writer’s Festival, and who indirectly convinced me to plan monthly visits to my daughter so I can attend the Memoir Association meetings. In my opinion, it’s well worth time away from home (something I am not entirely fond of. I like being in my own space), and 5 or 6 hours on the road, round trip to avail myself of their knowledge and expertise.
I’m finding interacting with other writers and people in the writing industry to be an invaluable resource. Much as I might like staying in my own head and space, I’m having to admit I’m not always my best source for guidance and information. My own expertise has taken me to this point, but reaching outward is the only viable option if I want to take my writing and my books to the next level.
Jumping into the Deep End
Is it scary? Hell yes, it’s scary! But so was starting a blog, opening myself up and sharing my personal challenges, struggles, and traumas, and letting people know for the first time in my life that I have a less-than-perfect life just like everyone else. Tearing down my walls was the biggest act of courage I’ve ever taken. It also became my greatest triumph.
Today, I find it easier to talk to other writers and those who support writers. I listen more easily to the stories other people tell, and find it easier and easier to turn those stories into ghostwritten blogs and articles. I jump at the opportunity to attend something like the Writers Festival without a moment of hesitation. In the past, I’d have argued internally and interminably, ultimately taking the easy way out and staying home.
Taking Advantage of Trails Already Broken
I’ve learned a writer who remains isolated, refusing to reach out or interact loses a great deal in the process. Not only does our work go unshared, but we miss out on the perspective we could gain from the experience of others. We have to go over well-traveled ground without benefit of a road map. And there are so many road maps available as others have traveled the same path to which we aspire. Why reinvent the wheel when the ground has already been broken and the way well-paved for our use?
I’ve taken the first step on my publishing journey (aside from the first big one—writing a book or 5 in the first place!) by reaching out, researching, and hiring an editor. Or perhaps the first was really going to SCWC last year. Wherever my path started, the end is clear. I will publish Life Torn Asunder: Rebuilding After Suicide. I will go on to rewrite my 3 novels and 1 children’s book, then embark on the publishing journey there as well. I will write more novels, and perhaps a sequel to my memoir.
Taking the First Step
In short, as the saying goes:
The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step
The Chinese proverb which is attributed to Laozi and written in the Tao Te Ching can’t be more appropriate to the journey a writer takes when she first begins to pen a story, whether that story is a thousand words, or 10’s of thousands. My own journey began in childhood when I first began putting words together to form stories. That it took decades to find it’s way here is, in my opinion, simply the journey I had to take.
Where are you in your journey? Are you still playing it safe—afraid to leave your comfort zone? Can you take one small step out, test the waters, and take another one? That’s how I began, but it wasn’t long before I left the comfort zone behind. You can too!
About the Author
Sheri Conaway is a writer, blogger, ghostwriter, and advocate for cats. Sheri believes in the Laws of Attraction, 
but only if you are a participant rather than just an observer. Her mission is to Make Vulnerable Beautiful and help entrepreneurs touch the souls of their readers and clients so they can increase their impact and their income. If you’d like to have her write for you, please visit her Hire Me page for more information. You can also find her on Facebook Sheri Levenstein-Conaway Author. And check out her new group, Putting Your Whole Heart Forward.
Be sure to watch this space for news of the upcoming release of “Life Torn Asunder: Rebuilding After Suicide”.
