Trying to Stay Sane While Waiting for Edits
As I’ve embarked upon the next step in my publishing journey, I’m learning waiting on edits is one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. It’s not that I don’t have plenty to occupy my time while I wait, but every so often, my inner critic joins forces with the voices telling me I’m an imposter to give me a sharp jab of worst-case-scenario.
That’s where I see my manuscript buried in a sea of red ink where nothing worked at all. I find myself paralyzed by the onerous and overwhelming prospect of completely rewriting a 78,000 word book that took me 10 years to write. Needless to say, all the inner demons join forces to reduce me to a quivering puddle of goo, incapable of even the simplest tasks.
We Bend But Rarely Break
Granted, in my entire 60-odd years, nothing has ever been worst-case-scenario. Things 
usually lean a lot more to the happy-ever-after side for me, even if sometimes I have to search for the silver lining a bit harder. But if the positive feedback from my writing clients and the people who read my blogs is any indication, the heart I poured out on those pages isn’t destined to be shattered into a bazillion pieces—at least not by my editor.
I still expect to see a lot of things I need to fix, and a lot of places that simply do not work. It’s part of the process. I’ve already given my ego notice. If it gets too cranky, I have a nice, quiet corner picked out for it to hang out in until the next re-write is done.
We all have pieces of ourselves clamoring for attention. Some urge us on with compliments and praise. Others try to put the fear of all things dark and scary into our minds. We have to learn to wrangle those doom and gloomers and remind them we are wise to their games. At times, it’s like herding cats when they all try to gang up on us at once. We need to put safeguards in place during the rare occasions when most of them are lying dormant, waiting for the right moment to pounce.
Staying Present
I’ve also learned to take a page out of Eckhart Tolle’s book and try really hard to live in the moment. I can’t change what’s already happened, and there’s no telling what twists and turns the future will bring me, so I might as well pay attention to what’s right in front of me, and make the best of whatever that is.
And so it is with the edits. I won’t see them for at least another 2-3 weeks, so why create a shit storm where their might just be a drizzle, or at worst, a wild and crazy thunderstorm? Besides, I love a good thunderstorm. It’s energizing and exciting.
If I look on the editor’s notes as an opportunity to challenge myself; a chance to rise above what I’ve already accomplished, the opportunity for gloom or panic is stopped before it starts. Adding in the fact that I asked for this input, and even paid for the privilege of having someone look objectively at my work for the purpose of telling me what I need to make better or even re-do entirely, I have to accept the cold, hard truth without taking it personally.
The More I Write, The Stronger I Get
Sure, it’s my work that’s being dissected, but this is truly a case of “what doesn’t kill you 
makes you stronger”. My book will not die from the experience. Sometimes you have to trim back an overgrown bush so it will grow healthier and stronger. So I believe it must be with this book, and the others I’ll be subjecting to the editor’s knife in the years to come.
Fortunately, I have a place where I can write what I choose and never have to worry about whether my story arc is working or if I’ve kept the tension going throughout the story. I don’t have to concern myself with all the technical aspects which the writing profession deems necessary for a well-crafted story. Both here and in my blog I can scribble (or in this case, pound keys) to my heart’s content, tossing out words like confetti to form sentences which may at times only make sense to me.
Here I can reach out and touch a heart or two, naked and unafraid, knowing my grammar may be less than perfect, and the flow of my story may be choppy and full of plot holes. No matter. It’s simply a place to air my thoughts and practice my craft. And to be honest, I’ve yet to read a single book lately, whether by a newbie or a seasoned author which didn’t have a few things that slipped by the editors.
Dance to the Tune That’s Playing
It might be an inconsistency with regard to characters, or just grammar, but my inner critic has a field day looking for something—anything to pick at since I won’t let it pick at me any more. I’m learning to read other peoples’ work less critically too now, unless, of course, I’ve been asked to check the work for errors. Otherwise, I am learning to accept that even the most critical and discerning eyes are going to miss something somewhere. Heaven knows I read and re-read my own blog posts looking for issues before I publish. Yet time and again, when I re-read them later, I find glaring mistakes I “should have” caught during one of my readings, but didn’t.
Being a writer is like everything else we do in life; two steps forward, and another back. We cha cha through life trying to find our rhythm—our own music. The truth is, the tune keeps changing and the beat rarely stays constant. At some point we just have to throw our hands in the air and boogie to whatever tune is playing. We have to dance like nobody’s watching, because most of the time, nobody is.
About the Author
Sheri Conaway is a writer, blogger, ghostwriter, and advocate for cats. Sheri believes in the Laws , 
of Attraction, but only if you are a participant rather than just an observer. Her mission is to Make Vulnerable Beautiful and help entrepreneurs touch the souls of their readers and clients so they can increase their impact and their income. If you’d like to have her write for you, please visit her Hire Me page for more information. You can also find her on Facebook Sheri Levenstein-Conaway Author or in her new group, Putting Your Whole Heart Forward
