Living in the Past, Present, or Future
In accounting, we’re always working a month behind. We compile and report what’s happened after the fact. In writing, I’m preparing things which will be released sometime in the future. The impact won’t be felt until the publishing day arrives and my words are disseminated out into the cyber world. Until that day, I can change, update, and even eliminate anything I want. I can change the future with what I alter today.
We spend a lot of time hanging out in the past, rehashing what happened and wishing we could change it. But it’s past. It’s over. We can’t change what was done any more than I can change the story the numbers tell from my accounting clients.
What happened in the past is immovable as is how it’s impacted us up to this point. We can, however, alter the trajectory we’ve allowed the past to drive up to now. When we make a conscious choice to take what the past has given us and govern what we do with it from today forward, we move into a future we’re creating with purpose. Yet, we’re not truly altering the future, as it is yet to come. What we’re doing is altering our present. We’re choosing to do more than watch what our past creates today.
Becoming a Participant in Our Own Lives
When we grasp today with both hands, allowing ourselves to feel, think, and interact instead of being a spectator, we tell the Universe “I want to see my dreams come true, so I’m taking action to make that happen”.
For a long time, I was a spectator, bemoaning the hand I’d been dealt and wishing things could be different. Nothing changed except perhaps to grow worse. The Universe kept giving me guidance which resonated with my words and thoughts, yet I was surprised when I kept going in the wrong direction.
I learned we have to change our story first. After that the guidance and helpers we find in our path change to match the new story we’re telling ourselves. As long as we’re saying things like “I hate my job” or “I don’t want more misery” we’ll attract more things about our job to hate, and more misery to wallow in.
Only We Can Change Our Story for the Better
Yet the Universe is waiting patiently for us to do just that; change our story for the better. As soon as we do, all the things it’s been holding back may be a bit overwhelming in their intensity. The key at that point is to know you are always safe and supported, even when it feels like you’re in a leaky boat and the flood waters are rising.
A couple of months ago, I took someone’s advice and increased the number of blog posts I published 
every week. For a while, I barely kept up, and at times, threw together a post on the day it was due, barely getting it up before day’s end. But when I set an intention to get at least 2 weeks ahead, the floodgates opened and I was inundated with ideas. Now, I usually have 5 to 7 ideas jotted down on sticky notes or in my phone waiting for me to turn them into posts for my website or blog.
Though there have been a couple of times the ideas in my queue dwindled to as few as 2, it wasn’t long before the queue was full to overflowing again. At the moment, I’m shy maybe 1 or 2 ideas for posts which will take me through the end of October, though I’m writing this a good week before September is over. I’m still struggling to get more than 2 weeks ahead, but with a concerted effort and the ideas I’ve tagged or jotted, I’ll exceed my goal and then some in the next few days.
Make a Pact With Yourself to Put Fear in its Rightful Place
Sometimes it’s a matter of getting past your fears. The first step is owning up to them. For the longest time, I thought my fear was failure, but in reality, I’ve failed plenty of times. Each time, I’ve learned something, picked myself up, and forged on in whatever direction felt right at the time. I didn’t stop and think or wallow in the failure (or not for long anyway).
The failures don’t necessarily mean I was going in the wrong direction either. In some cases, they mean I need to gather more information or learn new skills before I can get past that particular block to my progress.
One of those lessons came from trying to do too many challenges, boot camps, and lessons. I signed up for courses willy nilly, only to give up on many of them half-way through. These days, I’m much more selective, sticking with two main groups right now. I also know it’s OK to take a week or even a few off of one set of lessons to take in something from another set. As disparate as the lessons I’m pursuing now may seem, they each have something which ultimately brings clarity to another.
Know Yourself and Optimize Your Qualities
I also tend to get bored and complacent if I stick with one thing too long, so having a couple of things to move between keeps my brain happy and productive. It also feeds my content pipeline quite nicely, which is an added and unexpected bonus.
The bottom line is our futures aren’t etched in stone unless we allow them to be. If we sit back and allow stuff to happen to us, the future is as inevitable as the path of a piece of driftwood on a raging sea. Grabbing the wheel of our personal vessel may be scary, and might raise the uncertainty factor by several hundred degrees, but it’s only because each step we take opens up a dozen or more possibilities.
We may choose a path that works, but we’re as likely to choose one that, on the surface is a failure, but is actually a lesson and perhaps a new tool. As such, there are no wrong choices, only opportunities.
“Never” Will Invariably Bite You in the Butt
My own path has taken some rather interesting turns of late. I spent over a year adamantly declaring I’d never start a Facebook group because it served no purpose for an unpublished author. As you may have noticed, I’ve changed my tune. I’m even working on a boot camp for the members of my recently established group, Putting Your Whole Heart Forward . The group features opportunities for the members to explore their own vulnerable side and find the strength within as I did. It will support those efforts through challenges, boot camps, conversation starters, and anything else my coaches, guides, and mentors challenge me to offer. If any of this resonates, feel free to click the link and join the group. We’ll be better for what you have to offer.
The change came when I decided to stop shooting myself in the foot. One of my most consistent self-defeating messages was telling myself I was lousy at marketing. I had an epiphany one day and realized I was only lousy at it because I allowed myself to bury my head in the sand and find a reason why not for every opportunity that came my way to learn new skills. The resulting POP when I pulled my head out of its sandy hole brought me face to face with a 30-day marketing challenge.
Though I only made it through the 8th day before getting frustrated and wanting to give up, I had the good sense to express my frustration to my coach who gave me some one on one time to get past my blocks and move forward.
Let Your Phoenix Rise From the Ashes
Out of our conversation came a solid plan for a 3-day boot camp and a lesson in Canva which is already reaping benefits as I’m using it to create unique graphics for my blog and website instead of depending on Flickr or other open source sites. And thus, my upcoming 3-day Boot Camp, “Resetting Your Triggers to Make Vulnerable Beautiful” was born. I haven’t set a date yet, but keep your eyes peeled as it will be sooner rather than later.
Giving up means letting yourself drift and allowing the fates take you where they will, even if that’s over a waterfall. Will you choose to let someone else decide your life’s direction, or will you listen to the guidance that’s always been there for you? Guidance and help are always available if you stop the negative self-talk and pay attention. You need to take your head out of the sand, or release the wallow you may have fallen into, listen, and above all, act. There’s an unbelievable amount of support available the minute you choose action.
About the Author
Sheri Conaway is a writer, blogger, ghostwriter, and advocate for cats. Sheri believes in the Laws 
of Attraction, but only if you are a participant rather than just an observer. Her mission is to Make Vulnerable Beautiful and help entrepreneurs touch the souls of their readers and clients so they can increase their impact and their income. If you’d like to have her write for you, please visit her Hire Me page for more information. You can also find her on Facebook Sheri Levenstein-Conaway Author.. And check out her new group, Putting Your Whole Heart Forward.
Be sure to watch this space for news of the upcoming release of “Life Torn Asunder: Rebuilding After Suicide”.
