Stop Resisting to Thrive

Resisting Down Time

Whenever I find myself either stagnating, or worse, going backwards, I know the problem is me. I’m trying to hard to reach a goal, and throwing in the steps I mistakenly believe I need to get there. I’ve forgotten wisdom imparted by one of my former teachers: “Set your goals in broad strokes. Determine the what, and the why, and let the Universe fill in the hows”. In short, I need to stop resisting what the Universe knows is best for me.

Being stuck, or moving backwards; seeing my goals and dreams get further away instead of closer is a sure sign I’ve grabbed the wheel, and am trying to force my life and my world in a direction of resistance. I use the excuse my brain is resistant to change, and my failure to move forward at a speed I deem appropriate means my brain is getting in the way. The truth is, when I get frustrated with my progress, I’m actually allowing fear to convince me progress is too slow, making me put on the brakes, thereby resisting the very thing I want most; change.

I realize this sounds counterintuitive, but by trying to force progress, I’m actually impeding it which is exactly what the change-resistant, fearful side of me wants. All too often, that’s the side to get satisfaction from my actions. Thankfully, seeing myself drifting further from those hopes, dreams, and goals is often enough to take a good, hard look at what I’m doing, and how I’m speaking to myself.

Stop Forcing Results

Through long practice, and too many years of failure, I’ve finally learned to stop being my own worst enemy, and end the self-sabotaging behavior before it eats up all progress. Typically, the first step is to set or revisit affirmations, telling myself in no uncertain terms I’m perfect as I am, and exactly where I’m supposed to be.

It doesn’t mean I don’t want me or my life to improve. It’s simply a reminder that where I am right now is perfect because it means I’m poised and ready to accept those nudges forward when they come. In short, I stop resisting, and begin allowing.

Every day, I see stories about people working really hard to reach their goals, eschewing things like self-care, and time spent with family and friends. They lose sight of work-life balance, putting work and success at the top of their list, never finding time for items 2 through 200.

Sharing is Caring

Their singular focus may earn them recognition as the best, the brightest, and the wealthiest, but at what cost? Might they have reached those goals a little later, but with the love and support of family and friends to share in their success? To celebrate the wins both small and large?

I believe the phrase “it’s lonely at the top” came about because of skewed beliefs and priorities. It’s only lonely when your focus is locked on a single goal. Too many highly successful people have little to no life outside of work, are divorced, or never married, and lack a close knit family to help them through the inevitable dark times. Never in the history of mankind has anyone found true happiness by burying themselves in work, and the pursuit of more money.

Even in artistic circles, some of the most tormented souls have been creatives who hid, or expressed their pain in their art. They locked themselves away painting, writing, acting, or otherwise creating something that would ultimately bring pleasure to others, but fail to ease their own loneliness and pain.

Struggle is Counter-productive

For many, isolation and focus are important factors while working on a project. The key is to

recognize when the project has ended, or you’ve hit a wall and need to detach for awhile to engage in human contact, or take some down time to rest and recharge. I’ve learned through experience I ultimately accomplish more, and create a higher quality products when I take breaks, and step away when I feel like I’m working too hard to pull out the words. I can only imagine what it’s like for those whose creations require sharp technical or scientific focus.

Granted, locking yourself in a room and subsisting on caffeine and pizza until you reach a goal is effective. But how much better, and less error-prone would the end result be if you took breaks, allowing yourself to step back and assess your progress with a clearer eye? How much more quickly and efficiently would you achieve those goals if you allowed life and leisure to get their share of your time?

I know for myself when it feels like I’m having to drag words from the bottom of a deep, dark pit, it’s time to step away for awhile, go outside, meditate, eat a healthy meal, cook a batch of something, read, or listen to music so I’ll get out of my own way. When I have to force my progress, I’m overthinking it, and what I write reflects it. The words are erratic. They don’t flow smoothly. What I’m trying to convey gets lost in translation.

Relax and Enjoy the Process

Granted, there are times I give items lower on my list too much attention. I’ve learned I’d rather err by engaging in too much leisure than by pushing words out through the birth canal before they’re ready. A butterfly must work its way out of the chrysalis when the time is right, and do so as slowly as necessary. A chick must peck its way out of the egg when nature tells it the time is right.

So too must humans put effort into reaching goals only by recognizing right timing. Engaging in rest, relaxation, and social connection often provides much-needed tools and insight to move forward. I know for myself, the insight I gain by talking to friends, dancing, and meditating often fuels the words my fingers tap onto the computer screen. It takes me out of frustration which invariably hinders, if not blocking completely, my creative juices.

A maple tree must warm to release the sap used to create syrup. The human mind must be warmed to release the juices that fuel creativity be it artistic, scientific, or technological. Both thrive beneath the sun’s rays, but only humans tend to forget they need to take time to enjoy the warmth rather than hurrying on to the next project on their endless to do list.

About the Author

Sheri Conaway is a Holistic Ghostwriter, and an advocate for cats and mental health. Sheri believes in the Laws of Attraction, but only if you are a participant rather than just an observer. Her mission is to Make Vulnerable Beautiful and help entrepreneurs touch the souls of their readers and clients so they can increase their impact and their income.

If you’d like to have her write for you, please visit her Hire Me page for more information. You can also find her on Facebook Sheri Levenstein-Conaway Author.

Be sure to watch this space for news of the upcoming releases of ” Rebuilding After Suicide” and “Sasha’s Journey”.