Beating the Social Media Time Suck
As my productivity reaches an all-time low, I know I have no one to blame but myself. There are, however, some mitigating factors, mainly Social Media and computer games. In either case, I fall down the rabbit hole for hours at a time if I’m not careful. Recent dreams about cords disconnecting from themselves finally woke me to how far I’d fallen, and how badly I’d been failing to honor my own commitments.
Fortunately, it’s a problem easily solved. The tabs for social media on my overloaded browser were the first things to go. Once my daily gratitude post was written, and my Facebook Live was recorded, I severed the connection, leaving me free to edit another chapter of my memoir, and catch up on blog writing.
There’s honestly no good reason to check Social Media more than a couple of times a day, and less reason to get sucked into conversations where engaging is often a waste of time and effort. That I blocked a couple of people in the process further guarantees I won’t be tempted to beat my head against a wall, much less fall into time suck hell.
My addiction to computer games is a tougher nut, believe it or not, but again, there’s a time and a place. I realized getting back on track is no different than establishing healthy habits like exercise. It’s a matter of adding it into my daily schedule, and committing to it until it becomes another habit I’m no longer willing to let slip. The problem has never been enough hours in the day, but too many hours spent futzing with things that get me nowhere. I had to decide when it was time to get off the hamster wheel and start moving forward again.
Honoring Epiphanies
As often happens, the Universe stepped in and gave me some dreams with a common theme, 
then allowed me to figure out the meaning for myself while writing my morning pages. I often recount memorable dreams there since I write as soon as I get up, but most of the time, I see neither a common thread, nor a message requiring a response. Every so often, I do, and perhaps that’s a large part of the reason I allow at least part of my morning pages to be dream recollection in the first place. I don’t want to miss the messages when they do come.
The truth is, I know what I need to do to realize my dreams, but allow myself to get distracted and dragged off course too many times. Fortunately, I’m not allowed to wander aimlessly for too long before I’m forcibly dragged back; sometimes kicking and screaming, and sometimes, with a large dose of relief. I may have a lot of fear surrounding reaching my goals, but in the end, I truly do want to achieve them.
Sometimes it’s easier to let my fears take the wheel, so slipping into that mode is often no more than lack of resistance. But I’m bored, and even frightened by lack of forward momentum, aka, the evil and malicious rut, so though it might take as long as a couple of months, I’ll ultimately find a reason to get moving again.
Learning to Self-Motivate
It pains me to admit my schedule for completing the last rewrite of my memoir has slipped by a couple of months, but the good news is, I gave myself 3 days to rewrite each chapter. The latest kick in the butt will likely cut that schedule in half at the very least, and though I may still miss the final deadline, it won’t be by as much as it seems right now. I’m currently 24 chapters behind schedule, but hey, it’s just a number. I know how much I’m able to accomplish when I plant myself in front of the computer allowing no distractions and no excuses. I’m nothing if not a harsh taskmaster.
I’d like to say I was born with the ability to self-motivate, but it’s not an innate quality. Rather, it’s a learned skill. It’s also easier to learn to meet or beat the deadlines other people set, but to meet or beat those you set yourself is a much harder road to travel. When you miss a deadline for someone else, you’re letting them down, and often, that’s motivation enough to push yourself.
Someone else’s displeasure, whether justified or not has driven me to over-perform on numerous occasions. I’m sure it has a lot to do with the years I spent trying to earn my dad’s love and acceptance. My brain decided anyone’s acceptance and appreciation were better than nothing.
Satisfaction in Meeting Commitments to Myself
What I didn’t figure out until a couple of years ago was the value of meeting or exceeding 
commitments to myself. In fact, once I started honoring commitments to myself, I was less concerned about acceptance from others, and felt comfortable and safe being my own imperfect self.
I stopped portraying a false image of perfection be it socially, on social media, or in my blog writing. I realized the satisfaction in not only putting myself out into the world more regularly, but doing so with honesty, vulnerability, and authenticity.
Once those qualities became habit, the acceptance I’d chased for so long became a reality, and many of the people I’d cultivated in the mistaken belief they’d make me feel valued fell by the wayside. Actions attract what’s wanted and needed far more effectively than a belief system that teaches masking of emotions.
Breaking Familial Habits
I know now I was conflicted. I believed what I’d been taught about keeping my emotions inside, but my nature demanded they be expressed. The people I attracted by following what I was taught were repelled when my true nature came out, and like all self-fulfilling prophecies do, reacted as I’d been taught to expect; with revulsion and ridicule.
Learning to set aside expectations and beliefs and be myself may have pointed me in the right direction. Now I have to learn to temper those emotions to a certain degree, airing them in the right time and place. For the most part, my darker side is best kept off Social Media.
Sure, it’s a great place to post affirmations, inspirational messages, and cheery announcements. The occasional humanity check is OK too, but trolls; either the guys with two first or last names, or an angry one from someone else’s friends list looking for a fight are looking for someone to attack or drag down.
Like anything, Social Media can be a good thing in small, controlled doses. When I let it take over my life and suck my time, it becomes an albatross I need to cut loose so I can get on with my life and make some of those goals a reality.
About the Author
Sheri Conaway is a Holistic Ghostwriter, and an advocate for cats and mental health. Sheri 
believes in the Laws of Attraction, but only if you are a participant rather than just an observer. Her mission is to Make Vulnerable Beautiful and help entrepreneurs touch the souls of their readers and clients so they can increase their impact and their income.
If you’d like to have her write for you, please visit her Hire Me page for more information. You can also find her on Facebook Sheri Levenstein-Conaway Author. And check out her new group, Putting Your Whole Heart Forward.
Be sure to watch this space for news of the upcoming releases of ” Rebuilding After Suicide” and “Sasha’s Journey”.
