An Interrupted Journey
One night while I was brushing my teeth, my mind wandering through the last few conscious thoughts before sleep, it dawned on me I’d drifted quite a ways off course and lost sight of my first love—storytelling. I’d gotten so caught up in the tasks I’d set myself, I’d been talking at my readers instead of weaving a tale they could see, feel, and even relate to. It was a sobering thought to realize I was many miles out to sea with no idea where I truly was any more. I knew I needed to start re-charting my course before I drifted past the point of no return. I feared I’d lost sight of my soul’s journey.
For me, the best place to start was somewhere I’d already become consistent; formed a regular habit I completed regularly without overthinking. Where my writing is concerned, it came down to one of two places; only one of which made sense. I get up every day and write my Morning Pages, but that’s not storytelling as much as a brain dump to clear my head for bigger and better things. That left my 3 blog posts per week. I had to ask myself: Have I wandered so far from my craft they’ve become dry and boring? To be honest, I was afraid to go back and read a few with a critical and dispassionate eye.
Instead, I took what I’ve learned as I travel the highways and byways of a life that rarely, if ever travels a straight line; the best way forward is to set out from where I am, and avoid looking back. All too often, looking back leads to a fruitless analysis of past regressions, which further leads to self-castigation. It seldom allows me to resume my journey.
Distractions Along the Way
Along the way, I had to revisit the methods I’ve used to corral an easily distracted mind. I might 
stop because my little Siamese, Mulan is yelling at me in her outdoor voice. Invariably, she’s insisting she hasn’t gotten any attention in the last 15 minutes, and nothing will do but that I drop everything and give it to her MEOW! Fortunately, scratching her itch only takes a couple of minutes before she gets bored and wanders off to annoy one of the other cats. Yet it takes me out of the zone where my more creative writing occurs.
Next time I might be distracted by a nail that’s grown too long and needs to be filed right this minute. Or I remember to check on a shipment I was expecting from Amazon. You might say all this could wait, and it probably could. But my ADD brain has learned if I don’t do something when I think of it, I’ll forget for hours, or even days. It doesn’t matter if there’s no critical need. My brain says: Don’t forget to… which is enough to distract me from my purpose until I get it out of the way.
The ADD brain, in my experience, is like a nest of ear worms. Each one is trying its hardest to be heard, resulting in a cacophony of voices vying for attention, thereby drowning out any chance of creative, unfettered thinking. Fortunately, my Morning Pages has helped me make great strides towards silencing many of those unproductive voices. The trick is letting what I dumped first thing in the morning stay dumped, which isn’t always an easy task.
Learning to Sidestep Procrastination
The voices are aided and abetted by their BFF, procrastination. The two often join forces to kick creativity, and thus, my inner child out the door, or worse, lock her in a storeroom where she can kick and scream until her voice grows hoarse and her fists grow raw. She can’t fight that many upraised voices or continue the journey she desperately needs to follow.
Fortunately, meditation and Eckhart Tolle have taught me a thing or three. When the voices overwhelm, instead of trying to beat them down, or ignore them (which never works!), I step back and observe them from afar. I watch them tussle and roll like a litter of kittens fighting over the same toy. I disengage from the thoughts they’re trying to batter into my head like a dam that blocks the flow of ideas and words I seek.
In time, the voices lose their power, and the door to my creativity opens by itself. Depending how long it’s been locked, the flow of ideas might come out in snippets I have to jot on my phone before I lose them. I’ve learned as long as I have a snippet of an idea, and a sentence or two, I can later write the whole story or post, but only when I get out of my own way.
Getting Unstuck
When I’ve performed my detachment well, those voices won’t even notice my lack of attention for hours, or even days. I love those times, as that’s when I’ll spend hours in front of the computer, typing until the sun goes down, never noticing the room has grown dark except for the light from my computer screen.
Up to now, I’ve lost sight of what I’m able to do; the stories I have inside me, and the battle going on between letting them have free rein, and allowing my analytical mind get in the way. In truth, the analytical mind is almost as child-like as the creative one, but typically in a more destructive and dysfunctional way. It seeks to divert and destroy instead of creating something. Sure, what comes from the creative side can be, by turns, beautiful or dark, inspired or ridiculous. But unlike the garble that comes from the analytical side, it can be edited and refined.
Right now, I feel like I’ve been stuck in Park, or even Reverse for weeks. My pump needs some priming, but it’s not dried up yet, and I don’t intend to let it get that way. I may disappear for a few days, aside from regular gratitude posts and Facebook Lives. It’s a necessary part of my journey. Though I’ve learned I can’t create in a vacuum, I also can’t create when my world is like a subway station at rush hour.
Sometimes, I have to go from one extreme to the other before I find what I ultimately seek: balance. Only then can my journey continue; my soul purpose be fulfilled. I’m learning the destination isn’t as important as the roads I travel, and the experiences I gain in the process.
About the Author
Sheri Conaway is a Holistic Ghostwriter, and an advocate for cats and mental health. Sheri 
believes in the Laws of Attraction, but only if you are a participant rather than just an observer. Her mission is to Make Vulnerable Beautiful and help entrepreneurs touch the souls of their readers and clients so they can increase their impact and their income. If you’d like to have her write for you, please visit her Hire Me page for more information. You can also find her on Facebook Sheri Levenstein-Conaway Author. And check out her new group, Putting Your Whole Heart Forward.
Be sure to watch this space for news of the upcoming releases of ” Rebuilding After Suicide” and “Sasha’s Journey”.
