Each Experience We Have is A Cause for Celebration, Not Regret
I recently indulged in a cafe writing session and did another of the writing prompts from Judy Reeves’ “A Writer’s Book of Days”. This time, the topic was rather near and dear to my heart, and I thought it would be a good one to share here, so without further ado, here is what a wrote about regrets.
Regrets, I’ve had a few, but then again, too few to mention
The song, “My Way” expresses well something only time and experience can truly teach us. When we’re younger, it’s easy to blame what seems to be lack of forward progression on coulda, woulda, shouldas, assuming of course we haven’t fallen into the trap of blaming another person, group or external condition. At that point, we convince ourselves if we’d only made better choices, or taken different roads, or listened to someone who was wiser than ourselves we’d be closer to our dreams. Or we’d be richer, happier, or whatever else we thought we ought to be.
The truth is, we don’t learn and grow from the experiences of others. We learn and grow from living our own lives and making our own mistakes. That isn’t to say we can’t take previous knowledge and experiences from a variety of sources to shorten some of the roads we travel. But why would we take everything other people say as gospel without running a few experiments of our own? We’re not them, nor they, us. We have different strengths and weaknesses, different perspectives, and different levels of willingness to accept risk.
What is Truth, Really?
Philosophy says there are only a couple of unarguable truths:
- A statement can either be true or false, but not both. (partially true is, by definition, false).
- Matter cannot physically occupy the same space at the same time as another piece of matter. (of course, this assumes matter is solid, as opposed to a whole bunch of energy gathered together).
Thus, pretty much everything is available for testing by each of us individually. That’s not to say we want to ignore some of the well-proven scientific theories and say, try to launch ourselves off a cliff without some kind of appliance or conveyance to keep ourselves aloft, and to avoid having our somewhat fragile human body splattering on the rocks below. If someone (or many someone’s, really) hadn’t believed there was a way man could be made to fly like the birds, think of how many things we now take for granted would be non-existent. Man will always question the Laws of Nature and seek ways to get around our inherent limitations.
Ask Then “Why Not?” Rather then “Why?”
That’s why each of us has a mind and instead of asking why something unproven can’t be true, we ask “why not?”, then set out to find the answer. Such things are rarely discovered on the first attempt or even the 1000th. Those who allow themselves to accept their first failure may surely have fewer regrets, but they’ll have fewer successes, and even fewer definitive answers to all of their “why nots?”
So if you ask me about my regrets, I don’t so much look at where I’ve failed, but rather at the times I’ve picked myself up after falling down. Only when I don’t pick myself up have I truly failed, and I can honestly say I’ve picked myself up in one way or another Every. Single. Time.
I may not continue moving in the same direction, as I learned something both in the falling and the rising. Some of those falls may have required a longer recovery time, others may have necessitated learning additional skills before I could climb all the way back to my feet and resume my journey. But even pushing my face up a few inches from the ground, taking time to scope out my surroundings and my resources before rising further is progress.
Life is a Series of Baby Steps
There’s no rule that says we must, like the Phoenix, rise out of the ashes every time. Sometimes, 
especially after one of our more spectacular falls, it’s more prudent to check ourselves for critical wounds and effect some form of emergency care before launching ourselves off the next cliff. And maybe we’ll choose a smaller drop until we nail down our technique to minimize the damage and recovery time between attempts.
I like to think of life as a series of lessons in which we develop processes, not only for accomplishing things, but for testing new ones with the least amount of damage. Sometimes it’s trial and error but with others our model is as well-designed as a crane or other piece of machinery meant to lift large objects high up into the sky. Who, after all, designed our existing machines, gadgets, processes, and scientific techniques but other people who wanted to know “why not?” or weren’t satisfied with conventional wisdom.
Why Waste Time On Regrets? Celebrate the Efforts and the Lessons.
In my opinion, having regrets for what you might deem failures is ridiculous. The mere fact you had the guts and the mental acuity to try means you succeeded. It’s not about the outcome at all, though we’d all like our experiments to succeed. No, success lies in the effort made. Results come but they may require a series of efforts, of never giving up, and believing in yourself despite disappointing results.
The only things I might regret would be chances not taken. Yet in truth we make choices. We pass on one thing to leave us free to choose another. We choose some only because they leave us with knowledge, a tool, an experience we can use elsewhere.
When I look back on my first 60 years, I’ve made a lot of choices that didn’t, on the surface turn out so well, but each one taught me something, and brought me where I am today, which is a mighty nice place to be, if you ask me.
About the Author
Sheri Conaway is a writer, blogger, Virtual Assistant and advocate for cats. Sheri believes in the Laws 
of Attraction, but only if you are a participant rather than just an observer. Her mission is to Make Vulnerable Beautiful and help entrepreneurs touch the souls of their readers and clients so they can increase their impact and their income. If you’d like to have her write for you, please visit her Hire Me page for more information. You can also find her on Facebook Sheri Levenstein-Conaway Author.
Be sure to watch this space for news of the upcoming release of “Life Torn Asunder: Rebuilding After Suicide”.
