Recapturing My Missing Piece: Consistency

Without Consistency, Forward Progress is Stalled

I get a lot of inspiration for my writing from other people. One of the most frequent “contributors” is my coach, Linda Clay. She recently posed a question to her group, asking us what our missing piece was. Though I don’t always respond, I decided to answer this one (she asks a lot of questions every week!) by saying I lack both consistency and persistence.

In her usual way, she asked me to expand on my answer with possible reasons why. Instead of giving myself time to think about it, I responded with the first thing that came to mind, the all-too-common “fear”. Linda reminded me that we often allow fear to run our lives without even realizing it.

The questions and subsequent dialogue forced me to take a good, hard look at where I’m self-sabotaging again because I’m allowing fear to drive my train, and derail my plans for consistency which require pre-scheduling blog posts according to my own deadlines.

I’ve somehow gotten it into my head that before I can work on anything else, I have to consistently have 3 weeks worth of blog posts scheduled for publication. (that means, for those who don’t know me, 9 posts total: 3 for Wednesday, 3 for Friday, and 3 for Sunday). I keep getting close, but as soon as I hit the 3 week mark, I seem to stop writing for a week or more. It’s as if a part of my brain doesn’t want me to meet that goal.

Drilling Down by Asking Questions

The next question has to be: “What am I avoiding as long as I fail to meet this goal?”

The answer is actually two-fold.

1. I am not working on the re-write of Rebuilding After Suicide
2. I am not working on becoming better at marketing my ghostwriting services

Each of these projects has a million fears attached to it, and the biggest one is change. Yet isn’t consistency the antithesis of change? Clearly, my brain thinks otherwise.

If I actually get to the point where Rebuilding After Suicide is ready to be published, I’ll have to let go of a container-load of baggage, history, and habits.

• Putting an end to a project which has spanned more than 10 years
• Closing the door on a legacy of behavior I inherited from my family
• Exposing my work to a much larger, and possibly more critical audience (I’ve already had one lesson in doing that, and know I’m using that as an excuse)
• Allowing myself to make publishing choices and, one way or another, make them happen
• Ending a years-long habit of procrastination with regard to my 3 novels and a children’s book
• Stop putting off writing shorter pieces for submission to contests and literary magazines
• Revisiting courses and programs to hone my skills even more

Reasons or Excuses?

Admittedly, there’s a lot more I need to get through, get past, or release entirely, but these are the ones which alone or collectively have been stopping me in my tracks. Nevertheless, I recognize these aren’t reasons, but excuses. I have similar ones for the second set of tasks I’ve allowed myself to delay.

• I’m an introvert and don’t have the skills to put myself out there
• I don’t know how or where to start
• There are a million other writers/copywriters/ghostwriters out there who’ve already established a following
• I don’t have anything convincing to use to prove my worth to potential clients (this, by the way, is patently untrue given my recent successes with Medium)
• I don’t know how to find the places my ICA (Ideal Client Avatar) might hang out

Once again, these are stories I tell myself to avoid putting in the work, or letting go of outdated beliefs. I’ve had and still have a number of people who are giving me guidance and showing me how to overcome my fears and false beliefs. I’ve gotten past a lot of my previous sticking points. There’s nothing to stop me from getting past these, and anything else that will come up once they’re conquered.

Pushing the Rut…er…Comfort Zone

I’ve learned whenever I’m stuck in a pattern or an excuse, it’s because I’ve pushed my brain a little further out of it’s comfort zone than it’s ready to travel, and it pushes back. That’s when I have to reclaim control of my personal guidance system. I have to take the wheel and set the trajectory I want, regardless of the uncertainty; allowing fear to be a motivator instead of a brake.

My greatest accomplishments have come about when I stepped into the fear instead of hiding behind it; the times when I used fear to propel me past all hesitancy and misgivings.

It’s easy to let fear be the loudest voice in my head. As imperfect and unfulfilling as my life might be, any risks I’m taking are known and familiar. But it also means I’m stuck, and if I’m honest with myself, the worst possible scenario is being stuck in a rut. Yet I return there time and again with fear obscuring that grim reality until something shakes me out of it and forces blunt honesty and clear insight once again.

Clearing the Crap

This time, (as has been frequently in the last year or so) the butt kicking, two-by-four to the head slamming, illusion clearing propulsion came from Linda Clay. But she’s far from the only person in my life who asks difficult questions and refuses to accept half-assed responses or prevarication.

I know when these moments arrive I’ve sat in my hidey hole for long enough. The road stretches ahead and it’s time for me to get back on it. Excuses for missing my self-imposed writing goals will no longer be accepted, but instead, met with “why the hell not?” Forming new habits requires consistency, and failure will be met with repetition until the new habit sticks. In fact, I should have been clued in when 3 new blog topics showed up in my morning pages in 2 days. The pump is primed. It’s going to be my job to keep up with the flow.

Slowly, methodically, systematically, and consciously I’ll push through all the excuses; remove the obstacles I’ve allowed to keep me from moving forward. I’ve found my motivation and am willingly jumping back on my personal roller coaster. I’ve never been happy for long being safe, and I’m no happier now for having been there for too long. It’s time to blow the roof off this place, and I have the dynamite that’ll do it.

What’s Holding You Back?

Do you feel like you’re failing yourself? Are you adding more jobs to your list than you can reasonably handle? Would you like to take a task or two off your plate? Maybe it’s content creation, or perhaps it’s getting your books in order and creating a budget. If this sounds familiar and you’re ready to streamline your life and give your business space to grow and thrive, CONTACT ME and let’s talk!

 

About the Author

Sheri Conaway is a writer, blogger, ghostwriter, and an advocate for cats, and mental health. Sheri believes in the Laws of Attraction, but only if you are a participant rather than just an observer. Her mission is to Make Vulnerable Beautiful and help entrepreneurs touch the souls of their readers and clients so they can increase their impact and their income. If you’d like to have her write for you, please visit her Hire Me page for more information. You can also find her on Facebook Sheri Levenstein-Conaway Author. And check out her new group, Putting Your Whole Heart Forward.

Be sure to watch this space for news of the upcoming release of ” Rebuilding After Suicide”.