Never Give Up on Your Dreams

Don’t Give Up the Dream, Just the Outgrown Process

The last few years have seen their share of ups and downs, successes and failures, false starts and great progress. Through it all, there’s been one consistent theme; never give up. Though I may not be the success I’d hoped to be 8 years ago, I’ve learned many valuable lessons, made some life-changing connections, and become a far better version of myself through all the twists and turns my life has taken.

Constant attempts to climb some mountains, while learning which ones I’m better going around have taught me a level of tenacity I didn’t know I had, or at least never gave myself credit for possessing. I’ve learned to look in the mirror and see the beauty rather than the flaws, and most of all, to avoid comparisons whether they’re good, bad or indifferent as they always detract from my goals and progress towards them.

By remembering to never give up, I’ve been able to see the small successes I’d taken for granted in the past. I’ve learned not every mountain is worth scaling as some don’t lead me where I want, or need to go. In fact, many are simply obstacles in my path, there to teach me discrimination; to look carefully at things that frustrate me and seek their true purpose. In short, I’m learning a new level of picking my battles.

You Can Change Direction and Not Give Up

Deciding to circumvent an obstacle rather than conquering it is another aspect to living a life where you never give up. Learning you have a choice, and can opt out of some challenges has been incredibly enlightening. Once upon a time, I was the bull in a china closet in my own life. I’d blast through walls, burn bridges, and take no prisoners—and I was very much alone. A huge part of learning to be selective about the battles I wage has been accepting help from the allies I’ve finally allowed into my life.

Admittedly, learning to not only connect with people, but to acknowledge their unique skill sets which augment my own, and allow them to help me were the most difficult lessons my life path presented me. In some ways, I believe I was hard-wired to resist both by the ancestral wounds I used for so long in a misguided attempt to protect myself. One of my most difficult life-lessons was that security, safety, and protection come, not from isolation but from being an integral part of a community.

In fact, it’s far easier to push forward when I’m feeling blocked, or get up when I’ve been smacked to the ground so hard my head spins when my community is there to uplift, support, and encourage me. I’ve come further since I learned not to fight the world alone than I ever could have left to my own insufficient devices. It’s humbling to admit I don’t have all the knowledge or tools I need to manifest my dreams. It’s also the most freeing thing I’ve ever experienced, and probably ever will.

To Complain is to Give Up

As a child, I listened to my parents and grandparents complain about the cruelty, unkindness, and selfishness of others. In some cases, they blamed their own frustrations on someone else, rather than recognize the need to accept their own weaknesses, nor recognize the strength in allowing others to help.

In their eyes, admitting they didn’t have all the answers, or the necessary skills to scale the mountains standing in the way of their dreams was the ultimate disgrace. Admitting any kind of weakness; be it mental or physical, painted a target on your chest for all to see, and shoot at with unerring accuracy.

I watched without fully understanding as each of my parents grew angrier, sadder, and more withdrawn. In hindsight, both succumbed first to mental illness. My dad hung around long enough for his body to join the battle that ultimately felled him. My mom checked out before her body could become her own worst enemy along with her mind. Neither could ever admit they’d benefit from outside help, whether from their community, or professionals.

Perhaps their inability to reach out so they could continue their journeys is part of what’s made me so tenacious. In some way, I recognized subconsciously that sheer stubbornness, and anger at the world would only get me so far. I saw my parents, as well as my maternal grandmother end their lives angry, bitter, and unhappy, and wanted better, not only for myself, but for my children and grandchildren. My subconscious knew years before I was aware of it continuing to stuff everything down inside, and bulldoze my way through life wasn’t the path to success.

Trading Stubbornness for Tenacity

Still and all, my parents did instill stubbornness in me which, for years took the place of tenacity. In their own way, their lessons and examples are responsible for my inability to give up, or even let go of things when they stopped serving my own best interests. In exchanging isolation for community; stubbornness for tenacity, I also gained the ability to cut my losses when necessary, and to recognize those times I was fighting a losing battle. I might still hang on too long, but am no longer blind and deaf to the red flags, flashing lights, and blaring horns that warn me it’s time to jump off a train that’s bearing down on a broken bridge that will cast me into an unforgiving chasm.

It’s hard to let go of something you’ve put your heart and soul into for years, be it a job, a relationship, or a life path. Learning to recognize the signs; whether they tell you to turn around, go around, power forward, or ask for help is, at the very least, life changing. Without it, you’ll continue to clutter your life with obstacles, and essentially make your path harder than necessary. With it, you’ll figure out what no longer serves you, taking the lesson, but leaving the rest behind, smoothing your path, and gaining the tools and resources you need to scale the next mountain more easily.

You might say letting go of processes, roads, and things is violating the premise to never give up. I disagree. You follow many roads on your journey through life, picking things up along the way. Some are meant to follow you throughout your journey, some are meant to travel along for a specific period of time, some are meant to stay long enough to teach you a necessary lesson or skill, and a few are meant to be dropped like a hot coal as soon as you pick them up. Each in their own way is valuable. Perhaps learning when to let go; when it’s OK, and even necessary to give up is the most valuable lesson of all.

 

About the Author

Sheri Conaway is a Holistic Ghostwriter, and an advocate for cats and mental health. Sheri believes in the Laws of Attraction, but only if you are a participant rather than just an observer. Her mission is to Make Vulnerable Beautiful and help entrepreneurs touch the souls of their readers and clients so they can increase their impact and their income.

If you’d like to have her write for you, please visit her Hire Me page for more information. You can also find her on Facebook Sheri Levenstein-Conaway Author.

Be sure to watch this space for news of the upcoming releases of ” Rebuilding After Suicide” and “Sasha’s Journey”.