When Electronics Go Awry, My World Goes With Them
It took me the better part of a week to get back up to speed after being without a computer for 4 days. Though my new one arrived on a Tuesday, I had to take a day off to run errands, and another for the UPS to arrive, and to get it up and running.
Part of the day was also spent fighting with Hubspot (unsuccessfully, I might add) to get the add-in set up on Outlook. It bit the dust after I deleted the add-in. Guess I’ll get some help at some point. It doesn’t seem to want to re-connect at all now. I’m sure there’s help out there, but for the moment, I have other more pressing matters.
It’s amazing how much I was impacted by being without my electronics for a few days. Although I did manage to write one blog post on my phone in the interim, my schedule slipped for the first time in awhile, and though I managed to avoid stressing out about it, I didn’t like being behind on my due dates, even if they’re set by and for me alone.
Think about what being without a computer would do to you. How would it affect your business? Your personal interactions?
Forced Re-Assessment
For me, having both my laptop and desktop blow up on the same day came at a time when my 
social circle was going through a major shake-up. It makes me wonder if they’re somehow connected energetically. Though it was painful while I was in the middle of it, I can look back and see how necessary it really was. I’d drifted into a circle that wasn’t really a great fit, and drifted away from people who were. As I slowly make my way back to those who had my back even when it was turned, I can see how it positively affects the attention I give my business as well.
An evening spent connecting with my “tribe” and avoiding my, for lack of a better term “non-tribe” cleared my head and heart. I woke with renewed resolve; to move ahead with LeadsLab (a series of videos and tasks designed to improve my marketing skills), and get caught up on writing, both for blogs, and the novel I’m posting to ChapterBuzz, a chapter at a time.
It’s funny. As I look back on the last 5 or 6 years being disconnected from the corporate world and so much more, I see how much the connections I’ve nurtured over the last 3 or 4 have impacted not only my personal life, but the way I look at and approach my business as well.
As Connections Change, So Does Direction
While allowing myself to fall into patterns of sloth and discontent, I wrote a lot on novels and my memoir, but my blog was hit-or-miss. As I’ve learned the importance of connections, the novel and memoir writing have slipped while the blog writing has become more frequent and consistent. I’ve expanded to other platforms, and am investigating adding a couple more. I’ve been added to one publication. Again, I need to do the work to get my writing showcased on another. (It’s time I learned how to pitch my work anyway!)
It continues to amaze me when someone in my social circle comments about one of my posts in the midst of a conversation. If nothing else, it confirms what I’m writing is a good fit for the people I write for.
Though this post is falling back on my tendency to ramble, it is also heading in a direction. In other words, I have a point. Much to my surprise, I’ve learned my business and social lives are intimately intertwined. It could explain why my success in the corporate world was so limited. I kept ending up in companies where I had no desire to see my co-workers socially, and I’m sure the feeling was mutual.
Relation Building Challenges
Working for myself means spending a lot of time alone, with only my computers and cats for 
company. Doing so limits my reach when it comes to attracting clients. I’m learning in many ways, my social circle contains people who have many of the qualities of the people I’d love to work with; my ICA. That I haven’t acquired any clients directly from my social circle yet is beside the point. I’m learning who I’ll love working with by paying attention to who I love being with outside of work; who I interact easily and naturally with, and who share my values. I’m making connections on the dance floor, in conversation, and through my blogs effortlessly. I’m also learning to recognize the ones I’d hate working with for one reason or another.
Landon Porter of The Sales Gorilla often compares relationship marketing to dating. I’m learning relationships are relationships, regardless of the context: work, social, interpersonal, all require the same skills to develop healthy ones. I spent years developing unhealthy ones, so just as I had to unlearn the Foxtrot to learn how to Two-step, I’m having to unlearn some of my unhealthy and unproductive relationship skills in order to attract people with whom I’m comfortable, but also an asset to. I’m also having to reassess my relationship with the electronics which power my business and life.
Like many, I learned to be a chameleon socially. I changed my colors to fit what I though others wanted. The trouble with being a chameleon was I constantly changed and adjusted, yet never really fit. Every circumstance; every change of personnel required me to shift, and usually into something less comfortable than my last iteration. At work or play, I was always on the outside, and often the scapegoat. In the process, I lost someone important; myself.
Life is an Endless Series of Lessons
It’s been a long road back, finding out who I really am and learning to be her without question or qualification. In the process, I’ve had to learn there will always be people who don’t like me, and others who will try to use me, then toss me away when they no longer see any value in keeping me around. Positive indifference is helping me accept the first group and move on. With the second, I’m still learning how to recognize them and move past without stopping to engage. Until then, positive indifference helps me muddle through when they’ve finished with me so the after effects of being tossed aside are shorter lived than they used to be.
I’m also learning to plant seeds and walk away. It isn’t up to me to make them grow for someone else, nor can I know what they want in their garden. I might give them tomato seeds when what they really want is blueberries. Naturally, the seeds I planted will get little to no attention. But eventually, as I learn how to gauge peoples’ needs better, I’ll start planting my seeds in the right gardens, and have the pleasure of watching them bear fruit. I’m starting to enjoy the learning process knowing what I’ll find and attract as I move forward is worth the wait.
About the Author
Sheri Conaway is a writer, blogger, ghostwriter, and an advocate for cats and mental 
health. Sheri believes in the Laws of Attraction, but only if you are a participant rather than just an observer. Her mission is to Make Vulnerable Beautiful and help entrepreneurs touch the souls of their readers and clients so they can increase their impact and their income. If you’d like to have her write for you, please visit her Hire Me page for more information. You can also find her on Facebook Sheri Levenstein-Conaway Author or in her new group, Putting Your Whole Heart Forward
