Throttling Back on Tendencies to Use the Pen as a Weapon
In 1839, Edward Bulyer-Litton wrote: “The pen is mightier than the sword”. Though his intention when he wrote the words was to say communication was a more effective tool than direct violence, more recent times combined with extensive use of the internet make it clear the pen can often do deeper damage in the long run.
Whether it’s a permanently damaged reputation, a teen driven to suicide by bullying, or the masses stirred to hatred by tweets, I’m finding the proverbial pen is incredibly dangerous whether wielded by the immoral and power mad, or those driven into a frenzy by what they perceive as the latest miscarriage of justice, or abuse of basic human rights.
Though I’ve tried for years to keep my posts in the realm of personal power and vulnerability, I’m ashamed to admit I’ve wandered too far into battles I’m ill-equipped to wage, not because I don’t have words, but because I’m falling into the trap of fighting with emotion rather than logic.
Learning to Step Away from the Line of Fire
These days, the hottest issue in town changes almost with the wind. I’ve done my best to get 
out of the way for the most part, but as everyone does, I have my hot buttons, and at times, forget to take a dozen steps back before responding. What’s come out has been, though not quite vitriolic, more hot-headed than I’d like.
Inasmuch as the length of time between writing and publishing is getting longer, I feel the need to step away from hot issues, partly because by the time my articles are published, the issues will have been replaced by something else, and partly because I never intended to get sucked into the war of irrationality waging globally.
By dulling my pen, so to speak, I’m making a conscious effort to return to the topics that come from my heart, and are meant to speak to yours. Everyone has a responsibility to help make the world a better place in any way they can. Each person is given a different set of tools and experiences from which to do so.
Some are great leaders and can create cooperation from a hotbed of emotions. Others do more good from the background, organizing, planning, budgeting, and administrating. There are many like me who work best from behind the scenes, using artistic talents to write and inform, create attention-grabbing graphics, or documenting via photographs. The mosaic needs all these pieces and more in order to be both complete and effective.
Focusing on Causes Close to My Own Heart
There are an endless number of worthy causes, and no one person can possibly support them all. Everyone has to pick and choose, and do so from arm’s length rather than from the middle of the fray. It’s too easy to be swayed when someone is screaming passionately in your face (figuratively, most of the time), how important and world-shaking their personal passion is. In order to truly give it your best effort, that passion has to be strong enough in you to enable you to stick with it to the end.
You also need a clear enough head to do work that builds instead of destroys, but right now, too many people are so wrought up, they’re doing the latter more than the former, and alienating those who might be on the fence, or even ambivalent. As for those who disagree, it only adds fuel to their fire, and makes their arguments and actions more volatile.
I’m exhausted by all the fires that are currently burning, and can feel a sort of emotional kinship to the firefighters who fought the many raging wildfires in the last couple of years in both the US and Australia. Unlike those firefighters, I have the option of stepping out of the fight, and redirecting my energies where I think they’ll do more good. At the very least, none of the fires I have tried to fight put me in a life-or-death situation, and by no means do I intend to minimize the incredible job those firefighters do.
Writing Kinder and More Gently
Perhaps “dulling” my pen is the wrong word here. It’s more of a softening of the rough edges; 
bringing my focus back to things like compassion, human kindness, love, and cooperation. It’s remembering what you do to someone else, you also do to yourself, because in the grand scheme of things, we’re all connected. When my writing is full of vitriol, and anger, it builds a fire inside me, and not a productive one.
In recent weeks, I’ve removed myself from groups on social media where every post was raging against someone or something. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. once said:
Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.
I find myself focusing on his words more and more these days. Some might say: “sure, and look what those beliefs got him.” I prefer to look at what he accomplished in his brief time on Earth, and how well he is remembered for his loving approach despite the hate and abuse he experienced, and observed.
Granted, few of us could honestly face bigotry and prejudice with the calmness and grace of Dr. King. It’s in our nature to get riled up about things we believe are horrific and wrong. We also have it in our nature, like Dr. King or Mother Teresa, to step back, give ourselves time to think clearly, and refrain from getting caught up in the fireball of hate that serves some people well, but never the good of the masses.
Using Compassion as a Shield and a Compass
As an Empath and an introvert, I’ve blindly allowed myself to get sucked into other peoples’ 
fights, disarmed by their passion and charm. In hindsight, it never ended well for me, nor did my participation further their cause in the long run. Once I’d removed myself, I spent a lot of time doing damage control, healing my own emotional wounds, and isolating more than was good for me. The time has come to recognize and learn those lessons, and to promise to do better from now on.
I can’t fight every battle, and even those that raise my own passion aren’t worth actually fighting. There’s a lot to be said for persistence, and gentle persuasion. If nothing else, neither trigger someone’s natural defenses and tendency to shut down because what they’re hearing raises their own ire—in a completely different direction.
My pen might be duller; softer even but it’s no less effective, nor will I back down from what I believe is important. I’m choosing; not to stab, and jam my points home, but to lead up to them gently, with the kindness and compassion they deserve.
About the Author
Sheri Conaway is a Holistic Ghostwriter, and an advocate for cats and mental health. Sheri 
believes in the Laws of Attraction, but only if you are a participant rather than just an observer. Her mission is to Make Vulnerable Beautiful and help entrepreneurs touch the souls of their readers and clients so they can increase their impact and their income.
If you’d like to have her write for you, please visit her Hire Me page for more information. You can also find her on Facebook Sheri Levenstein-Conaway Author. And check out her new group, Putting Your Whole Heart Forward.
Be sure to watch this space for news of the upcoming releases of ” Rebuilding After Suicide” and “Sasha’s Journey”.
