The First Step is to Declutter, Not Demolish
I’ve reinvented myself a few times, but somewhere along the way, I either get bored, frustrated, or simply lose interest, and the newest version of myself stagnates until I’m inspired to go through the reinvention process again. Usually, it’s because I get tired of being in a rut, and need a change.
Somehow, I’m incapable of making small ones like adjustments to the persona I last adopted. Yet by now, I should recognize the exercise in insanity I’ve perpetuated most of my life, and instead of reinventing myself, declutter the work surface, and reinvent the process.
Perhaps that’s what inspired the topic for today’s post; a realization I’ve been doing the same thing over and over, expecting different results, and being flabbergasted about ending up in the same place time and time again. It isn’t rocket science. A 5th grader probably would have figured it out after the second attempt. Sometimes, I think age has narrowed my viewpoint, rather than broadened it.
Taking My Own Advice
Take my advice. I’m not using it anyway.
In a way, revisiting the same process is my own version of an addiction
. I can’t seem to keep myself from ripping up floorboards, and knocking down walls every time I get tired of where I am, and want a change when what I really need is to declutter. I ignore my own, oft-repeated advice to move forward in baby steps because they’re easier to take, and get you further, faster than trying to wind up and take one giant leap. It reminds me of a friend who used to say only half jokingly; “Take my advice. I’m not using it anyway.”
I won’t say I avoid walking my talk in all areas of my life, but in this one, I really need to start taking my own advice, and try building on what I’ve already got instead of ripping out all the stitches and starting from scratch. No wonder I never learned how to knit! It’s time I learn to declutter rather than destroy.
I suppose this is also the reason I’m more effective as a pantser than a planner when it comes to writing. I do my best work when I sit down and let my fingers do the walking rather than by sitting down and planning characters, plot, and story arcs meticulously. Granted, it makes for extensive editing afterwards to ensure my stories are both consistent in their details, and steady in their flow, but doing it my way ensures I at least have words on the page to edit.
Every Journey is Unique
Earlier this week, a friend messaged me saying she was giving up on making her living writing. Granted, she’s much younger than me, and less financially stable, but her words struck a chord in me. What if I gave up on my dream, and decided to go another direction? What would it be? Where would I go? How would that affect those grandiose dreams in my head I keep embellishing?
I realized I did the other career path thing most of my life, and getting to hold onto my dream of being a published author is the prize I’ve earned for staying the course as long as I have. The problem now is finding a way to stay the new course without getting discouraged, and either giving up entirely, or trying to reinvent myself for the billionth time with the same results.
The truth is, I like the life I have now, where I can take time out during the day for ballet classes, trips to the gym, or meditation. I love working with a cat beside me, or as now, sitting on the desk in front of the monitors. Most of all, I love being able to work without having to deal with people unless I make a conscious choice to do so. In fact, people was the first thing I chose to declutter. The question is, can I alter my course slightly, or simply put one foot in front of the other a few more times, and still reach my Shangri-La somewhere off in the distance?
Crawling Before You Walk
So instead of tearing down what I’ve already built, my mission is changing. I’m listening to the 
part of me that says take things in baby steps. I’m going to build on the foundation I’ve laid the last few years because I finally believe I’ve laid one that can stand the tests of time, and bear the weight I’ll be putting on it, brick by brick until I’ve built the castle in my dreams. Most important, I’m looking for more areas of my life to declutter so the path before me is clear and less likely to yield obstacles guaranteed to trip me up.
It’s true you have to stumble and fall a few times before some lessons sink in. In my case, it meant sitting on a pile of rubble of my own making a few dozen times before I recognized I’d destroyed more than was necessary to create the clean start I craved. Until now, I honestly believed a clean start meant going back to ground zero, but I finally see it doesn’t have to. You simply need to clear space, or knock away the clutter to find your clean start.
Often, on my quest to those pie-in-the-sky dreams, I make a lot of messes. Like the piles of paper that accumulate on my desk, or the clothes that used to cover the director’s chair in my room, it isn’t what I’m doing that gets in the way most. It’s the stuff I allow to cover up the progress I’ve made, obscuring what I need to see so I give myself credit for the progress I’ve made. Sometimes, instead of knocking down walls, I only need to clean out a closet.
Seeing the Power of Declutter
I suspect I’m not alone in this myopia. How many others out there keep knocking out walls instead of clearing the clutter? I’ve gotten better over the years. My desk gets cleared off before the papers are stacked so high they’re falling over, creating new piles on the floor. New habits like Zoom ballet ensure the floors get swept several times a week, and piles aren’t allowed to accumulate.
I’ve even learned to schedule time to take care of personal business like paying bills, updating my books, and scheduling doctor’s appointments (which these days means more paper thanks to an HMO that seems to need to send me reams for every little thing). I’ve even learned to gather recyclable materials into a bin in the garage instead of sending it all to the land fill in the garbage can.
Clearly, I understand the concept of reducing clutter in my space. It’s time to expand the understanding to include the clutter in my path; my purpose, and clear it away so I have a better idea of what needs changing, and what truly does need to be discarded.
To make a long story short, it’s finally clear what I need to declutter most is my time.
About the Author
Sheri Conaway is a Holistic Ghostwriter, and an advocate for cats and mental health. Sheri 
believes in the Laws of Attraction, but only if you are a participant rather than just an observer. Her mission is to Make Vulnerable Beautiful and help entrepreneurs touch the souls of their readers and clients so they can increase their impact and their income.
If you’d like to have her write for you, please visit her Hire Me page for more information. You can also find her on Facebook Sheri Levenstein-Conaway Author.
Be sure to watch this space for news of the upcoming releases of ” Rebuilding After Suicide” and “Sasha’s Journey”.
