Crush A Personal Roadblock to Empower Yourself

Pick A Roadblock, Knock it Down

When it comes to forward progress, you have many challenges to face. Some are small and nearly inconsequential, but generally, the rewards are either small, or part of a long-conquered roadblock. Others beat you back time and time again because either you’ve yet to identify what’s standing in your way, or you’re still looking for the knowledge and strength to knock it down and move forward.

Quite often, the roadblock is something which exists deep within your own psyche, telling you tiny, insidious little lies so subtly and quietly, you don’t notice they’re there. It’s a lot like individual frames in the movie “The Exorcist” where they embedded subliminal messages your eyes weren’t meant to catch and carry to your brain, but were seen and shared with your subconscious. You respond without knowing on a conscious level what you’re responding to, or why.

The second time I saw the movie, I consciously looked for those messages (something I’ll never do again!) and learned how terrifying subliminal messages can be when you give them your attention. Think about the ones you carry around from as far back as early childhood. They prowl around in your brain, popping up whenever you’re in reach of success in a particular area of your life. They set off all sorts of alarm bells when you get too close, and ultimately cause you to self-sabotage, even if the goal is something you desperately want. Often, you call them fears.

Addiction is a Powerful Roadblock

I can relate to people whose personal roadblock is an addiction to drugs or alcohol on a certain

level, because my own addiction is equally damaging. I grew up being told I was fat by my mother, peers, and even strangers, when I wasn’t fat at all. The belief got so deeply lodged in my psyche that after 11 years with an alcoholic husband, during which I became my own self-fulfilling prophecy and packed on the weight, I was, in economics terms “sticky downward”.

Though I was finally able to release over 30 pounds, and keep most of it off, future success defied me. Every time I’d get close to another 5-pound milestone, I’d eat all wrong, and move too little, thereby erasing my hard-won progress, and putting me back to square one again; essentially letting my roadblock win again.

Though I’ve been able to keep my weight below a certain point, my ability to push it lower still has been overwhelmed by more failures than successes. On a conscious level, I know it’s my own fault; my own lack of consistent willpower. But is it really?

One Roadblock; Multiple Logjams

In the process, I also had to take a good, hard look at my progress with my business, again finding myself coming up wanting. I know there’s a part of me who’s fighting success on both platforms, and have come to the realization they’re related in some way, being hobbled by the same roadblock. The question is, how?

I could invest in pricey therapists to unpack my mind, and dig into it’s deep, dark recesses to help me figure it out, but though I have nothing against therapists, coaches, or counselors, I’ve learned a thing or three about digging into my own brain through writing.

Like any addiction (and I count serial failure as an addiction), the first step is identifying the problem. After that, it a boils down to a willingness to go all in with the solution, or in this case, solutions. Inasmuch as I’ve identified the problem in many ways over the years, yet haven’t been able to surmount it tells me there are deep-seated fears I haven’t been ready to face, much less release. I guess I had to reach the point of frustration where I was willing to chop off a limb (figuratively, of course) in order to strengthen the entire tree.

Identifying Old Baggage

The addictions I’ve identified are clearly stunting my growth, and need to be excised. The trick will be finding a way to cut off the dead wood while leaving all the amazing lessons, skills, and talents I’ve amassed while carrying the rotten branches through all the twists and turns my life has taken. Some, I’ll be able to lop off indiscriminately, but others will need the skill and patience of a surgeon’s knife. The question right now is, which one is which?

The process I use to identify and change things in myself doesn’t vary much. It involves writing whatever comes into my head until a solution, or at least part of the roadblock rises to the top to be examined. It’s actually the same process I use to write a post like this, oddly enough. After years of using and perfecting the process, I’ve learned it’s effective for identifying problems and their solutions, as well as accomplishing goals, as these blog posts have grown to be.

Either way, my process follows the same pattern:

• Identify the problem, roadblock, or topic
• Disengage the thinking, analytical part of my brain
• Start typing or writing without edits or corrections
• Write until a solution bubbles to the surface, or a topic winds itself to a conclusion
• Repeat as necessary

The process is always effective, though in varying degrees. Sometimes, I go from the problem to the solution in one swoop, but typically, it’s more like a therapist’s process, and takes multiple sessions. Short, quick ones serve their purpose as they provide instant gratification, and proof the process works. Longer ones tend to help dig out old, buried emotions and behaviors requiring the most difficult part of the process: feeling the old feelings again before letting them go.

Managing Resistance

Naturally, there’s a certain amount of resistance to exhuming and re-experiencing painful feelings, especially those you’ve buried so deeply as to have forgotten them on a conscious level. Those are the ones which likely cause you the most grief today. They intended to stay buried, and emitting subliminal messages forever, so disturbing them is tantamount to waking a hungry bear with a litter of cubs.

I’ve learned from experience digging out old feelings isn’t for the faint of heart. Peeling away the layers you’ve built around a traumatic experience can be incredibly painful. The key is recognizing the pain is only temporary, and lasts until you’re willing to let it go along with all the baggage attached. When you realize it’s more of a curse than a comfort, and not the security blanket it wanted you to believe, it’s easier to make the necessary incision to remove it from your life once and for all.

Finding the Strength to Implement Change

Did I mention those deep-seated feelings are sneaky bastards? They’ll do everything in their power to convince you you need them in your life; that they serve a purpose you can’t live without. They’ll go out of their way to misdirect you when you start recognizing their faults, and the damage they’re doing to you, your heart, and your future. They make it easy to drift back into a somnambulant state, lulled by false promises of safety and comfort.

It takes a lot of strength to pull back the curtain and see the ugliness and misery lurking beneath the surface, and recognize the damage it’s done by lingering too long already. Envisioning your life without the fallback; the reason for your lack of success can be terrifying. It’s only when remaining stuck, or going over old ground again and again becomes more untenable you’re able to let go of something that never served your best interests in the first place.

Breaking away from old demons, and rewriting my story has been one of the hardest jobs I ever accepted. It is one I know will last through this lifetime, and likely a few more before I’ve completely written certain things out. It’s through the successes I’ve had over the years, and the ones I know I’ll continue to enjoy that I know the pain, the rough roads, and the roller coaster rides from hell are worth the trouble.

 

About the Author

Sheri Conaway is a Holistic Ghostwriter, and an advocate for cats and mental health. Sheri believes in the Laws of Attraction, but only if you are a participant rather than just an observer. Her mission is to Make Vulnerable Beautiful and help entrepreneurs touch the souls of their readers and clients so they can increase their impact and their income.

If you’d like to have her write for you, please visit her Hire Me page for more information. You can also find her on Facebook Sheri Levenstein-Conaway Author.

Be sure to watch this space for news of the upcoming releases of ” Rebuilding After Suicide” and “Sasha’s Journey”.