Bringing Logic Back into the Equation
For a few weeks, I allowed myself to get caught up in the uproar following the implementation of AB5. I wrote a few posts with my usual links to further information, indulged in a few rants, and probably got less work done than I might have. While I don’t intend to bury my head in the sand, I finally came to my senses and realized I was putting too much negative energy into the whole thing. I’ve learned doing so only feeds the beast, or in this case, gives far too much attention to certain politicians who serve the interests of those who contribute millions to their campaigns, which, for the record is NOT the common folk!
Having woken up from the nightmare of volcanic energy, I’m making a promise to myself to approach the whole thing more thoughtfully, and without the emotional shit storm which has been propelling me these last weeks. It’s time to implement logic instead of letting my heart run amok.
I’m sure it doesn’t hurt that I’m finally getting at least 2 or 3 really good dance nights in again, as that is one thing which has always helped me put things in perspective. Even during some of the most challenging periods of my life, spending a few hours a week on a dance floor took some of the heat out of my fight or flight mechanism.
Knowing When to Lead with My Head
There will always be situations when I will be called upon to either stand up for myself or be a 
doormat. Times when being mistreated or abused by a person, group, or system is a choice I make by my inaction. Sometimes, I make that choice because, frankly, exercising logic under stress has taught me to pick my battles. Others, I don’t have enough information or experience to produce a compelling argument.
Sometimes, I back down, not because I’m giving up and allowing the other party to win, but because I need to take a few steps back to regroup before fighting with my wits instead of my heart. There’s a time and place for leading with the heart, and perhaps I choose it more often than I should, but there are times when even the heart must be told to STFU because a calmer, more rational head is needed.
For now, I’ve taken a step back and have stopped reading the emotion-charged posts from people whose livelihood has been severely impacted by greedy unions and their pet politicians. If nothing else, information has become rather mangled both by emotion, and confusion, and it was exhausting me to the point of ennui. My personal growth is better served by writing, studying, and reading. I needed a few harsh reminders to remember to indulge in my own versions of self care.
Emotional Eating is Means Self-Care is Needed
I think it all came to a head when I ended a really great 4-day dancing streak with a dinner of Chinese take-out and half a carton of Talenti mint chocolate cookie ice cream. The only saving grace was the relatively healthy eating I’ve been doing for the last couple of months. My body screamed foul, and my brain went into overdrive. Both agreed I need to reduce the amount of negative energy I’m both absorbing and emitting.
To an outsider, it probably looks like I’ve given up. Nothing could be further from the truth. I’ve simply learned I can’t operate on all cylinders when I allow my energy to be depleted, be it physical, mental, emotional, or spiritual. In this case, I’ve depleted myself on all levels. I’m grateful I’ve learned to recognize the depletion before it turns into even worse habits, and unreasonable bouts of anger. Taking a step back involves a few things for me:
- Meditation
- Reading
- Exercise
- Cleaning and reorganizing my environment
- Strict adherence to healthy eating
- Increasing my already abundant amounts of water consumed
- Self-assessment (my latest project comes from Julia Cameron’s “Vein of Gold”. It’s what she calls a “personal narrative”.)
- Taking time to breathe deeply and slowly
- Cuddling my cats
- Spending time in nature
Choosing Optimum Self-Care
Everyone has their own version of my list, though many forget to revisit it and actually follow 
their own suggestions. Years spent as a crankier, less approachable version of myself give me a wide array of red flags and warning signs when I’m slipping back into old, unproductive habits.
One of the biggest warning signs for me is when I’m angry and on edge for no rational reason. I go off on rants at the slightest provocation instead of looking at something that might be mildly annoying, or impact me personally and get hot under the collar about it. Usually the glazed eyes, or uncomfortable silence my tirades receive is a good indication I’ve gone off the rails. I’ve been getting a lot of that lately, and frankly, it’s exhausting me, much less those who are stuck listening to me rant until they can make a clean getaway.
I’m not saying the things I’ve been ranting about lately are unimportant, or that some of what I’m saying needs to be said. It’s that I need to make a distinction between screaming it to the mountain tops vs. approaching it calmly, rationally, and with a strong arsenal of facts, logic, and figures to back up my words.
Refraining from Destructive Behavior
To my credit, I’ve been sorely tempted at times to resort to name calling and disparaging remarks about lineage, mental capacity, and the like, but have refrained from doing so. I think those feelings were the red flags I needed to retreat for a little while to detox and regroup. I don’t like that side of myself very much, and I’m sure even my closest friends wouldn’t mind if I kept that part of me well hidden and locked up tight.
Like most people, I’m an imperfect human being, and need reminders to keep me from crossing the line from reasonable to just plain ugly. I have a picture of myself as a young child taped above my computer to remind me to speak kindly to myself at all times. I have years of loneliness, anger, and isolation to remind me to channel my anger, disappointment, and fear into more productive avenues, and when they threaten to erupt, to take a few steps back to pour water on the impending conflagration.
Too often, I’ve allowed emotion to cloud my judgement in business situations. It hobbled me as an employee, and could cripple me as an entrepreneur. Today, I care too much about helping others to take myself out of the race with my own lack of self-control. Sometimes older really is wiser, if only by virtue of many painful lessons.
About the Author
Sheri Conaway is a Holistic Ghostwriter, and an advocate for cats and mental health. Sheri 
believes in the Laws of Attraction, but only if you are a participant rather than just an observer. Her mission is to Make Vulnerable Beautiful and help entrepreneurs touch the souls of their readers and clients so they can increase their impact and their income. If you’d like to have her write for you, please visit her Hire Me page for more information. You can also find her on Facebook Sheri Levenstein-Conaway Author. And check out her new group, Putting Your Whole Heart Forward.
Be sure to watch this space for news of the upcoming releases of ” Rebuilding After Suicide” and “Sasha’s Journey”.
