Direct Your Destiny By Choice

You Always Have a Choice

You may have been on the same trajectory for awhile. It leads somewhere you want, or at least thought you wanted to go. But does it still? Does each step feel like a slow, slog through quicksand? Have you lost sight of the original destination? Then make a different choice, and change directions. You are the cartographer of your journey, the dreamer of your dreams, and the goal setter. If you don’t like the road you’re on, choose a new one! What’s stopping you?

Part of the journey lies in learning enough to know if a dream is still viable, and even desirable. As you learn more about the world at large, and the options available to you, both with the tools and skills you have, and after you’ve acquired a few more, your perspective changes. What might have been a goal several lessons ago no longer appeals, or has changed to include new objectives.

Case in point is my daughter. When she first started college, her goal was to become a Marine Biologist. At the time, there were maybe three options available in the field. Fast forward 15 years, and the field has expanded such that there are at least 10 roads she could take, not only because the field has expanded, but because she spent the time earning a BS, not only in Biology, but also in Anthropology with an emphasis on Archaeology. Not to mention her two AS degrees in Biology, and Culinary Arts.

These days, she’s combining a part-time job at Target, and two one-year-olds, with online classes in GIS, and computer programming. Her goals have changed, while her world has expanded, and will benefit from the new course of study.

Goals Aren’t Set in Stone

Like her, your goals change based on both internal and external factors. The world changes constantly, which means new opportunities abound. You’re not stuck on a single course of study, a single goal, or a single dream. In fact, if you allow yourself to hyper-focus, ignoring those changes, you might get left behind, and find the goal you set is no longer relevant.

Change is a fact of life you cannot escape, no matter how hard you try. If you fight it, things will change in spite of you, and probably in ways that suit you. Embracing the change, and allowing it to lead you to new opportunities and ideas means you get a modicum of control over where you end up. You may still get tossed around like a dinghy on a stormy sea, but you’re less likely to be tossed overboard into icy waters.

I don’t know about you, but I’d rather instigate as many of my own changes as possible, instead of trusting my life to fate. That isn’t to say right timing isn’t a factor in my life, and some might call that fate. It means I continue to educate myself about changes in my fields so I can make informed decisions. I also like being aware of impending inclement weather so I can make course corrections to avoid the worst squalls.

Choose to Release Self-Limiting Beliefs

Once, I fought like a demon to stay on the same, dead-end road. Too often, I found myself tossed unceremoniously onto yet another rocky, forbidding shore where I was forced to pick myself up, tend to my own bruised, battered body, and find a way out of uncharted territory. The experiences weren’t exactly tropical holidays, but they taught me a lot about myself including:

• Fighting change is a waste of time and effort
• Hardship made me stronger and more resilient
• I can heal from anything
• Learning to ask for help is one of my biggest strengths, and greatest assets
• No puzzle is unsolvable given enough time, and tenacity
• I always have a choice, even if it’s to make no choice

The choice which has, time and again, yielded the greatest gifts is to change my mindset. Hindsight tells me every single time I was stuck, it was because I wasn’t allowing my mindset to evolve. Whether it was believing I deserved to be abused, or that an employer held all the cards because he signed my paycheck, or that I had to give up half of my skill set to chase a dream, letting go and allowing myself to open to possibilities expanded my world beyond anything I could have imagined.

In truth, the first choice you might need to make right now is to let go of self-limiting beliefs. Choose to believe you can do anything you set your mind to. Then set your mind to infinite possibilities.

Trust the Baby Steps

Granted, your first efforts aren’t going to bring you the moon on a string. You might have to look hard to find any change or improvement at all. But I guarantee it’s there in each tiny, baby step you take to leave the past behind, so you can transform into the butterfly of your future self.

Nearly two years ago, I traded Zoom ballet classes for gym visits. I struggled with every part of the class, and doubted I’d ever manage to correctly execute the basics, much less, remember the choreography for more than 30 seconds. Fast forward to today. I’m remembering the choreography, have memorized a lot of the terminology, and can, albeit inexpertly, execute it. I’ve recently manged to change my pirouettes from a stationary passe to an actual turn which, on rare occasions, is even semi-graceful.

When I made the change, I assumed it would be temporary. Instead, it’s become an integral part of my life, and has been instrumental in enabling better choices because of the strength, balance, resilience, and tenacity the thrice-weekly classes give me. Best of all, it’s taught me beyond a shadow of a doubt, I’m never too old, and it’s  never too late to do something completely outside my comfort zone.

Update Your Mindset and Your World Will Change

Since then, I’ve adjusted my mindset to bring back my old skill set which is attracting amazing clients who allow me to engage both sides of my brain on a regular basis. I’m improving my daily habits, working more efficiently, moving more, and eating healthier.

My future barely resembles the one I envisioned when I stopped dancing to the beat of someone else’s drum. Instead, it’s broader, expanding my physical and mental skills. It’s far more interesting and diverse than my original plan. I’m no longer afraid of failure when I step into the unknown, or stretch myself to reach another level. In fact, I look forward to new opportunities to learn and grow.

I thought I loved change before. I know I hated stagnation. Yet I’d allowed fear, and self-limiting beliefs to hold me back. Now, I take the leaps of faith as they become evident, and spread the wings I kept tucked to my sides for too long. I may hit a wall now and then, but I’m still flying, and know I’ll continue to trust my wings now I know they’ll support me no matter what.

 

About the Author

Sheri Conaway is a Holistic Ghostwriter, and an advocate for cats and mental health. Sheri believes in the Laws of Attraction, but only if you are a participant rather than just an observer. Her mission is to Make Vulnerable Beautiful and help entrepreneurs touch the souls of their readers and clients so they can increase their impact and their income.

If you’d like to have her write for you, please visit her Hire Me page for more information. You can also find her on Facebook Sheri Levenstein-Conaway Author.

Be sure to watch this space for news of the upcoming releases of ” Rebuilding After Suicide” and “Sasha’s Journey”.